Saturday, December 22, 2012

Stuffed into Shape

So for those of you who know me well- it's no secret that I am not always 100% confident with my body. I have put on some weight this year and find myself farther and farther away from where I would like to be weight and size wise. That being said, recently it's sort of difficult to feel like I look good in clothing. Generally I just chalk it up to "good enough" and call it a day- but I have a very special occasion coming up in a week or two and I really don't want to feel like I look bad in my clothes. I am going to be the maid of honor in one of my best friends' weddings next Saturday. Needless to say it's a little too late for a crash diet, or some sit-ups to start working now, so I was left with one option; one final solution to help end my anxiety about looking fat or lumpy in my bridesmaid dress: the body-shaper. Most women know the body-shaper all too well. We think some spandex pulling on our fat in the right direction will make us feel a little more confident in our own skin: And you know ladies, we are right.

I did the dreaded body-shaper shopping trip today and brought my dress along. At first I was feeling like "Yes! Finally I'll be able to feel like I look a little better in this dress"....then I got into the dressing room. For those of you who have never shopped/ tried on/ or owned a body-shaper- here is the process. Firstly you scour the store for the right section and dig through countless racks of underwear and slips to find the shapewear. Once you find it you are feeling a little overwhelmed because there are so many kinds- and of course all of them look good in the pictures because they are on size 2 models that don't have any extra fat on them! So you grab one of every style- leotard, body suit, strapless, with a skirt, with shorts, with a built in bra and without. Then there is the sizing issue to consider. Some brands mark clearly which one you should go for based on height and weight but most are a little obscure. So you grab a few sizes and hope for the best.

Next comes the trying on- this part is by far the worst. You have to strip down to just your undergarments in order to try one of these bad boys on. So off come the boots, coat, scarf, and everything else. Then you think "OK, this will be easy just slip a few on, get a feel for which is best"- this is where you are wrong. There is no "slipping on" a body-shaper. You have to yank it up onto your body: Packing in all the cellulite, flabby stomach, and lumpy hips along the way, as if you were trying to fit them in a suitcase that's too small. If it fits you, you should be able to sort of breathe, but if you don't have to do gymnastics to get into it- it's most likely too big on you. Once you get one on, you might feel something like a packed sausage. All your flab is just sucked in as much as possible by the poor spandex that's working overtime. My mom was with me during the trying-on process and a few times I was laughing so hard that I almost cried. It feels really ridiculous, especially if you get an incorrect size. Once I got one on, I had to try the dress on over that, and thoroughly examine every inch of my mid section to see if it smoothed me out efficiently.

Then came the taking off- this sort of felt like peeling off a layer of skin. Not quite as painful I imagine, but a similar sensation. There is a victorious feeling when you take it off: being able to breathe freely again. But just as that smile crosses your face- you realize you have 6 more to try on!! So you repeat the process as many times necessary in as many stores as necessary. Each time hating yourself a little more for not sticking to that diet or exercise routine you had promised yourself earlier that you would follow.

Finally you'll find one that works the best. Three good things to look for are: 1. you can breath, 2. It makes your silhouette look like a smooth rolling hill instead of the rocky mountain range, 3. When you put the dress on over the shaper you think, "hey now that's definitely not as bad as before." These three things are clues that you have found the right shaper for you!

Then you go to checkout- feeling more confident in how you will look with the shaper and VERY, VERY happy that this shopping experience is over. When you get to the register, you look at the price. This is when you realize how ridiculously overpriced these body-shapers are. Not only are they targeted for desperate girls with low self esteem, but they are going to charge you loads for this little boost in confidence. And what is even worse, is after all of that (the trying on, taking off, the boost you experienced by wearing it) you are so worn down that you are actually willing to pay this exorbitant cost.

And that is the magic of what acquiring a body-shaper is really like. ;)

For me the cost wasn't all that bad- I got it 20% off and my mom added it to my Christmas gifts! Honestly it's worth every penny because I really feel so much better in the dress now than I did before. This way I will be able to not worry so much about if I have funny bumps in the dress or if I feel like my stomach looks fat and I can just enjoy myself. If this will help me be able to focus more energy on the wedding- and my friends- and just enjoying myself- it's definitely worth it. I am a little disappointed in myself that I need a shaper in order to give me this extra confidence- but to each his own I suppose.

I know I am beautiful on the inside and out- and I know weight is always something I have battled with- but today I wanted to dive into this process and hopefully give you guys a few (relatable) laughs!

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh. I laughed so hard I was crying! You forgot the part about the horrors of having to pee while wearing it :)